Think back how you had hurt me, betrayed my trust, cheated on me for during the time with me. I would say that you are the worst person i ever met. You left me with a broken heart, and you don't feel a single remorseful from what i seen. But thank god, i healed myself from that day.

I not that intelligent, but i not stupid enough not knowing what you have done. Is my kindness, the love i had for you making me to work then relationship to make it happens. And i now you are getting marry with that girl. Oh well, you choose your path, remember; karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around.


Yes, i'm skeptical to love, commitment, trust. But i still hoping a miracle, i still somehow or rather believe in fairy-tales.
LOVE is the most beautiful thing that can happens in everyone life. But there are people just abuse the word, get outta shit of people, take granted of everyone's kindness.
WHERE IS THE HUMANITY I ALWAYS BELIEVE?

Anyway, i am glad i actually grown up, with better thinking. (finger-cross with no negative thinking)
+
I dont rush into love, i gonna wait for the most beautiful thing to happen at the right time.


Thanks for all the guys i met during the time. Taught me differently.







Hais. This month wasn't my month at all :(

A lot of things happened and I knew I can't handle this at all. Internally, is killing me slowly . I pretended nothing happened and continue to be there for you. You are just so cruel to me. I don't know is my fault or your fault.

I can't sleep well for the past few months. Trust me, I really can't and mind fucking myself so much. Nightmares in the middle of the night, woke up and worried about you. Am I being foolish ?
I just hoping there is a miracle happens and I will flying over the moon, is that possible? I really don't know. Sometimes I just feel so tired for all the things that had happened.

I just know you are my future and I really want you to be part of it.

Please, I holding on. Don't let go of me and I promise I will be yours forever. 

I not happy on the first day of the year. :(

Fuck up day.

ONE more day to the end of 2013. 
Reflection of myself every year and setting up new resolutions for the 2014. Sad to say, it will never able to fulfilled. LOL.
Wait, i guess i did something, hmmm, I SLIM DOWN. haha.. That is the resolution i always set for myself every year since the day i know i have to lose weight, and i did it. Because people been telling me i too skinny le. I so happy that i able to wear UK 8 for bottom. WAHAHAHA ;p

Back to the topic of the year 2013
There were good and bad for this year. I really appreciated those came into my life and guided me along the way. I'm lucky to have a group of best friends, though we don't meet up often, no longer working together, and yet u all stood by my side, giving me advice, help me along the way i grown up.
And i truly believe i able to stand on my feet once again.





Merry Christmas 2013.

Time flies. I nearly forgotten I have this blog at all. Is shown time didn't wait for anyone, and is fair enough.

2013 2013 2013
Well well well, happened so much things as usual.
Oh yes, i am in a relationship with someone whom i truly love and wanna get marry with. A guy i am willing to do so much and sacrifice so much just for him. Is started very random, YES, RANDOM is the word i will use. We so deeply in love with each other. Been through so much and just for him.
It may sound stupid, may think im a fool, that life. Everyone went through that stage, isnt it.

But sadly to say, people change without you even noticing or he able to put a mask in front of you and acted everything seems alright for you and him, caused you to fall deeper into his trap and you cant even pull yourself back when you started to realize everything is so fake to you.

YES, unfortunately is happened on me recently.
He change to someone i don't even recognize anymore. I been wondering is it me or him. He told me, i hurt him alot. But we went to BKK like 2 month ago, he started new job one month ago and he change to a person completing different from last time, 3 weeks ago.
I had insomnia for past 2 weeks, crying every night, trying to make myself tired, push myself to the extend and wanted me to fall apart and coma forever. Cant sleep till 5 am even i have to work next day. Wondering is it worth it. I just don't want to let go.
YES, I AM STUBBORN
I trying to figure out what go wrong between us. Is it he fall in love with someone? Is it he possess? Is it he want to focus his career? or he don't love me anymore. Or worst to come to worst. He just change?

Wanted to save this relationship so much, i can pretend nothing happened, pretend he is still the same, pretend and doesn't want to know what he did outside as long he is still by my side.
Is sound foolish and alot of people would say, " just give up", or "he don't love you anymore"
But i still hope and hope he will be touch by whatever i did for him.
I didn't ask for expensive gifts, i didn't ask for accompany everyday. i didn't complaint he cant come and pick me up from work. All i want is something is care and concern. Is it very hard.

Well Well Well, all i can do now is stay by his side, quietly support him in anyway i can.


                                     

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY !!!!

Meaning my 4 days off gonna end tonight and im going back to reality and work and work hard for the money. ARGH!!!

I really want to say TAI TAI life is so good. because all they know is EAT, SLEEP, SHOPPING.
Isn't sound so enjoying their life. Hmm, sometimes i wonder who have this kind of fortunate to become one of them. But afterall is depend their karma.

OH MAN, I gonna celebrate my 25th in 2 months times. damn it... Sound so old though, that the fact and i admit time really wont wait anyone in whatever situation.
That what im gonna say TOO FAST TO LIVE, TOO YOUNG TO DIE. 
Do whatever u all can, not illegal, no regret. Because at least u can shout it loud and say " I DID IT BEFORE". Sound logical.
I wont do it, i dont know why that why my life is regrets, I still have to move on and make my future path even fantastic and colourful.

I appreciated that my life is full of friends who are nice, funny, good and bad  to guide me, teach me along the ways up. Is hard to find true friends nowadays especially when MONEY important than anything.
And im gonna celebrate my 25th at BKK. Never been there, NOPE. And i really looking forward to it.

I really LOVE my friends. ~

Last but not least, i love home alone. haha. cos parent went to JB with relatives. Feeling is good. peaceful and no one around.
yeah, im weird . ACCEPT THAT BITCH.